My Approach
While my approach is primarily Existential and Humanistic, it is informed by other therapeutic approaches such as Gestalt, Person Centred and Psychoanalysis.
The starting point of Existential Psychotherapy is your experience; this means that I focus on your unique experience of yourself and the world, and your meaning-making processes. We all have a natural inclination to find connections and make sense of life, but sometimes, in our attempts, we may tie things together that aren't truly linked. I like to call these connections 'obstructive meanings' or 'knots.' In our sessions, we'll work together to spot these knots, deconstruct them, and create healthier connections. The goal of therapy is to craft a narrative that resonates with you. As your therapist, I will actively participate in our sessions, helping you explore different perspectives of your life story.
Existential psychotherapy is a relational approach, examining in detail our relationship patterns with ourselves (our bodies and lived experiences), others, and the world around us. Rather than viewing individuals in isolation, I see them within the rich context of the world they inhabit. This holistic perspective proves especially powerful in navigating relationship challenges, steering away from treating individuals as an isolated entity that needs to be fixed. I find this approach particularly effective when addressing issues related to Narcissistic Abuse and relationship difficulties.
The existential approach sees you as the writer of your own life story, with all the freedom and responsibility that comes with that. We all face big life questions about death, freedom, loneliness, and finding meaning—these can be scary to think about, but they're also chances to live more authentically. In our sessions, I create a relaxed space where you can explore these things, face your worries, and discover new ways to make your life more meaningful.
For couples, this approach works really well because it looks at your relationship as two unique people sharing life together. Instead of just trying to fix problems, we explore how your patterns as a couple reflect each person's way of dealing with life's big questions. This helps you both see how you're creating your relationship reality together, allowing you to develop a shared understanding that honours both your perspectives while embracing the complexities of your lives together.
When suitable I incorporate bodywork to facilitate trauma healing. Through guided meditation practices, we will explore how emotions and experiences are physically stored within your body. This somatic approach recognises that trauma isn't just remembered—it's embodied. By gently bringing awareness to physical sensations, we can access deeper layers of experience that may not be available through talk therapy alone, creating new pathways for healing and integration.
Furthermore, I use inner child work to help clients become aware of their internal dialogues, understand the way that they relate with themselves and foster healthier self relationships. This approach acknowledges that different parts of ourselves developed at various life stages, often in response to our environment. By identifying these parts and how they interact—whether as critical parent, wounded child, or protective guardian—we can develop more compassionate ways of relating internally.
Often our internal dialogues are contaminated by negative self talk. The objective of therapy would be to shed light in these internal dialogues, understand where they come from and how they came to be incorporated on our sense of self, and slowly start building a new, more self aware, inner voice. This process invites you to become both the observer and the observed, creating space between yourself and these internalised patterns, making room for choice rather than automatic reactivity in how you respond to life's challenges.
"What stands in the way becomes the way." — Marcus Aurelius
This is the quote I come back to most often in my work. I share it when someone feels overwhelmed by the future or caught in the pressure to control every outcome. It surfaces in sessions about career decisions, relationship crossroads, major life transitions, or simply the accumulated weight of trying to hold everything together whilst not knowing what comes next.
We often hear the phrase "finding yourself" as if identity is a treasure buried somewhere inside us, waiting to be discovered. Thomas Szasz reminds us that this is not the case. Instead, identity is something we actively shape through our choices and actions.
This perspective resonates with existential philosophy, particularly Sartre's claim that existence precedes essence. In other words, we are not born with a fixed, predetermined self. We come into the world first, and only later define who we are through how we live.
The discovery of infidelity can shatter the foundation of a relationship, leaving both partners struggling with questions about trust, meaning, and identity. As a therapist, I've witnessed how this crisis can either lead to relationship dissolution or, sometimes surprisingly, become a catalyst for deeper connection and renewed commitment between partners. From an existential perspective, infidelity extends beyond the act of betrayal—it confronts us with questions about our existence and relationships. When infidelity occurs, both partners are forced to confront several existential realities.
When two people build a life together, they encounter questions that touch the very core of human existence. What does it mean to truly connect with another person while remaining yourself? Who am I in relation to you? What meaning do we create together? How do we maintain our individuality while building a shared life? How do you create shared meaning while honouring individual dreams? What happens when the initial excitement fades, and you're faced with the reality of choosing each other day after day?
Difficult dilemmas are part of the human experience. In existential psychotherapy, we approach these dilemmas not by searching for the “right” answer, but by helping individuals uncover what they are prepared to lose. Every choice comes with a cost — a letting go of something else. Rather than becoming stuck in anxiety over what’s correct, existential therapy invites a deeper, more grounded question: What can I live with letting go of?
Inauthenticity can show up in various ways. For instance, someone might pursue a career to meet parental expectations or societal standards, even if it doesn’t align with their passions. Others may suppress their personal beliefs or stay in unfulfilling relationships out of fear of judgment or loneliness. Many people adopt behaviours or lifestyles that feel disconnected from their true selves, neglect personal aspirations due to fear of failure, or prioritise material achievements as substitutes for genuine fulfillment.
Existential psychotherapy emerged from existential philosophy, aiming to apply its concepts to practical therapeutic work. In essence, it is a form of applied philosophy. Existential psychotherapists use philosophical ideas to help clients address the big questions of life and find answers that are meaningful and relevant to them.
Narcissistic abuse significantly erodes a victim's sense of self and reality. Those affected typically come to therapy feeling confused, believing that they are at fault, and thinking there is something wrong with them that needs fixing. This self-doubt can be even more entrenched if the abuse began in childhood. As victims’ sense of self-worth and reality become heavily dependent on the narcissist, they often start therapy with very little confidence in their own sense of reality and self.