Beyond 'Just Leave': Understanding the Complex Emotional Barriers to Escaping Narcissistic Relationships
The connection between a narcissist and their victim goes far beyond conventional relationship attachment. What develops is a trauma bond—a biochemical dependency that functions remarkably similarly to addiction. When in a relationship with a narcissist, your brain becomes accustomed to the dramatic highs of their intermittent positive attention and the crushing lows of their withdrawal and criticism. This creates a cycle of cortisol and dopamine releases that literally rewires your brain's reward pathways.
After Infidelity: An Existential Approach to Couples Therapy
The discovery of infidelity can shatter the foundation of a relationship, leaving both partners struggling with questions about trust, meaning, and identity. As a therapist, I've witnessed how this crisis can either lead to relationship dissolution or, sometimes surprisingly, become a catalyst for deeper connection and renewed commitment between partners. From an existential perspective, infidelity extends beyond the act of betrayal—it confronts us with questions about our existence and relationships. When infidelity occurs, both partners are forced to confront several existential realities.
Notes on Existential Psychotherapy IV: The Existential Approach to Couples Therapy
When two people build a life together, they encounter questions that touch the very core of human existence. What does it mean to truly connect with another person while remaining yourself? Who am I in relation to you? What meaning do we create together? How do we maintain our individuality while building a shared life? How do you create shared meaning while honouring individual dreams? What happens when the initial excitement fades, and you're faced with the reality of choosing each other day after day?
Notes on Existential Psychotherapy III: Navigating Difficult Dilemmas in Existential Psychotherapy
Difficult dilemmas are part of the human experience. In existential psychotherapy, we approach these dilemmas not by searching for the “right” answer, but by helping individuals uncover what they are prepared to lose. Every choice comes with a cost — a letting go of something else. Rather than becoming stuck in anxiety over what’s correct, existential therapy invites a deeper, more grounded question: What can I live with letting go of?
ADHD and Relationships: Strategies for Forming Better Connections
ADHD can have a profound impact on romantic relationships, affecting communication, daily functioning, and emotional dynamics. When one or both partners have ADHD, misunderstandings can easily arise. Forgetfulness, procrastination, and avoidance can sometimes be misinterpreted as a lack of care, when in reality, they are symptoms of ADHD-related executive dysfunction. Learning to depersonalise these behaviours and develop mutual understanding is crucial for maintaining a healthy and supportive relationship.
Family dynamics when one parent has strong Narcissistic Traits
The interactions between these family roles create a complex and often toxic environment. The golden child and the scapegoat may find themselves in direct conflict, with the golden child siding with the narcissistic parent and reinforcing their judgments of the scapegoat. Meanwhile, the enabling parent may attempt to mediate but ultimately fails to challenge the narcissistic parent's control.
Notes on Existential Psychotherapy, Part II: What does it mean to live Authentically?
Inauthenticity can show up in various ways. For instance, someone might pursue a career to meet parental expectations or societal standards, even if it doesn’t align with their passions. Others may suppress their personal beliefs or stay in unfulfilling relationships out of fear of judgment or loneliness. Many people adopt behaviours or lifestyles that feel disconnected from their true selves, neglect personal aspirations due to fear of failure, or prioritise material achievements as substitutes for genuine fulfillment.
Notes on Existential Psychotherapy, Part I: A Short History of Existential Therapy
Existential psychotherapy emerged from existential philosophy, aiming to apply its concepts to practical therapeutic work. In essence, it is a form of applied philosophy. Existential psychotherapists use philosophical ideas to help clients address the big questions of life and find answers that are meaningful and relevant to them.
Understanding and Coping with Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD) in ADHD
Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD) is a common but often overlooked aspect of ADHD. It refers to the intense emotional response some people experience when they perceive rejection, criticism, or failure, even if none is intended. These reactions can be overwhelming, causing feelings of intense shame or failure, often out of proportion to the actual situation.
What is Single Session Therapy?
Single Session Therapy (SST) is a focused, goal-oriented therapeutic approach designed to address a specific issue in just one session. SST is not about cramming everything into a single meeting, nor is it a quick fix. Instead, it’s a structured and intentional session where the therapist and client work collaboratively to achieve a meaningful outcome in a short amount of time.