Couples therapy
“Between what is said and not meant, and what is meant and not said, most love is lost”
In my approach to couples therapy, I draw on existential principles and differentiation to help partners deepen their understanding of themselves, each other, and the relationship they are creating together. One of the greatest challenges in relationships is that we often do not hear what our partner is truly saying. Instead, we interpret their words through the lens of our own experiences, wounds, fears, and expectations.
Therapy creates a space to slow these interactions down and explore what is happening beneath the surface. Together, we examine how each partner experiences the relationship, what meanings they attach to events and interactions, and how these interpretations shape the way they respond to one another. This process helps couples communicate more authentically and move beyond recurring misunderstandings.
A central aspect of my work is helping partners remain emotionally connected whilst maintaining a clear sense of themselves. Rather than becoming consumed by blame, defensiveness, or the need to change the other person, therapy encourages each partner to reflect on their own reactions, values, choices, and responsibilities within the relationship.
A significant part of my work focuses on infidelity, betrayal trauma and the process of rebuilding trust. Affairs often create a deep rupture, not only in the relationship, but in each partner's sense of reality, safety, and identity. I do not approach infidelity as something to be quickly repaired. Instead, I work with couples to understand what has happened in a careful and grounded way.
This includes creating space for the injured partner to express the full impact of the betrayal, while also supporting the partner who has been unfaithful to engage with responsibility in a meaningful and sustained way. This is not about blame or defensiveness, but about developing a clear understanding of the consequences of their actions and what it takes to begin restoring trust.
We also explore the wider context of the relationship. This is not about justifying the affair, but about understanding the relational patterns, unmet needs, and dynamics that were present before it. From there, the couple can begin to make a conscious decision about whether they want to rebuild the relationship and what that would realistically require. Rebuilding trust is not about returning to how things were. It involves creating a relationship that is more honest, more explicit, and more intentional.
I am also interested in the deeper questions that relationships often bring to the surface: questions about meaning, values, intimacy, commitment, identity, and the kind of life we want to build together. Therapy provides a space to explore these questions whilst helping couples develop a shared sense of direction.
Ultimately, my aim is to help couples recognise what is working in the relationship and build on those strengths, whilst addressing the areas that feel stuck or painful. This approach allows couples to develop a more flexible and realistic understanding of their relationship and make conscious choices about how they want to move forward.
My main work is with couples, particularly around communication, infidelity, and neurodiverse relationships, including ADHD.
I work flexibly with couples, offering long-term therapy for deeper work, short-term therapy for more focused concerns, and Single Session Therapy (SST) for couples seeking clarity around a specific issue. I also offer six-hour couples intensives, which provide the equivalent of approximately six therapy sessions in a single extended session. This format allows us to explore relationship difficulties in greater depth and can be particularly beneficial when addressing complex issues such as infidelity or major relationship decisions.
