Beyond 'Just Leave': Understanding the Complex Emotional Barriers to Escaping Narcissistic Relationships
The connection between a narcissist and their victim goes far beyond conventional relationship attachment. What develops is a trauma bond—a biochemical dependency that functions remarkably similarly to addiction. When in a relationship with a narcissist, your brain becomes accustomed to the dramatic highs of their intermittent positive attention and the crushing lows of their withdrawal and criticism. This creates a cycle of cortisol and dopamine releases that literally rewires your brain's reward pathways.
After Infidelity: An Existential Approach to Couples Therapy
The discovery of infidelity can shatter the foundation of a relationship, leaving both partners struggling with questions about trust, meaning, and identity. As a therapist, I've witnessed how this crisis can either lead to relationship dissolution or, sometimes surprisingly, become a catalyst for deeper connection and renewed commitment between partners. From an existential perspective, infidelity extends beyond the act of betrayal—it confronts us with questions about our existence and relationships. When infidelity occurs, both partners are forced to confront several existential realities.
Notes on Existential Psychotherapy IV: The Existential Approach to Couples Therapy
When two people build a life together, they encounter questions that touch the very core of human existence. What does it mean to truly connect with another person while remaining yourself? Who am I in relation to you? What meaning do we create together? How do we maintain our individuality while building a shared life? How do you create shared meaning while honouring individual dreams? What happens when the initial excitement fades, and you're faced with the reality of choosing each other day after day?
Notes on Existential Psychotherapy III: Navigating Difficult Dilemmas in Existential Psychotherapy
Difficult dilemmas are part of the human experience. In existential psychotherapy, we approach these dilemmas not by searching for the “right” answer, but by helping individuals uncover what they are prepared to lose. Every choice comes with a cost — a letting go of something else. Rather than becoming stuck in anxiety over what’s correct, existential therapy invites a deeper, more grounded question: What can I live with letting go of?
Notes on Existential Psychotherapy, Part II: What does it mean to live Authentically?
Inauthenticity can show up in various ways. For instance, someone might pursue a career to meet parental expectations or societal standards, even if it doesn’t align with their passions. Others may suppress their personal beliefs or stay in unfulfilling relationships out of fear of judgment or loneliness. Many people adopt behaviours or lifestyles that feel disconnected from their true selves, neglect personal aspirations due to fear of failure, or prioritise material achievements as substitutes for genuine fulfillment.
Notes on Existential Psychotherapy, Part I: A Short History of Existential Therapy
Existential psychotherapy emerged from existential philosophy, aiming to apply its concepts to practical therapeutic work. In essence, it is a form of applied philosophy. Existential psychotherapists use philosophical ideas to help clients address the big questions of life and find answers that are meaningful and relevant to them.
Reclaiming Reality: Healing from Narcissistic Abuse Through Existential Therapy
Narcissistic abuse significantly erodes a victim's sense of self and reality. Those affected typically come to therapy feeling confused, believing that they are at fault, and thinking there is something wrong with them that needs fixing. This self-doubt can be even more entrenched if the abuse began in childhood. As victims’ sense of self-worth and reality become heavily dependent on the narcissist, they often start therapy with very little confidence in their own sense of reality and self.