Couples Therapy Intensives
What is a couples therapy intensive?
A couples therapy intensive is a longer period of couples therapy completed over half a day, a full day or three days, rather than through one weekly session at a time. A half day provides four hours of therapy, a full day provides seven hours and a three day intensive provides twenty one hours.
The work is focused on the difficulty that has brought you to therapy and what is happening between you as a couple. Because we have several hours together, there is time for both of you to explain your experience, understand the wider history of the problem and look closely at the pattern that develops when you try to talk about it. We do not have to stop after fifty minutes and try to return to the same emotional place the following week.
An intensive is not simply a longer conversation. The time is structured around what you want help with, with agreed areas of focus, therapeutic work and regular breaks. I work actively throughout, helping you recognise what is happening between you, supporting conversations that have become difficult or impossible and challenging both partners to consider their own contribution to the relationship.
Why might you choose an intensive?
You may choose an intensive because your relationship is in crisis and waiting from one week to the next does not feel manageable. There may have been infidelity, a disclosure or another breach of trust, and you need enough time to begin understanding what has happened and what it means for the relationship.
You may be considering separation and want to explore the relationship properly before making a decision, particularly if one of you wants to leave while the other wants to continue. An intensive does not assume that staying together is the right outcome. It gives you time to understand what has brought you to this point, whether anything can change and what each possible way forward would involve.
You may also have been having the same arguments for years, with each conversation ending in anger, defensiveness or withdrawal. Weekly sessions can sometimes feel too fragmented for these patterns because a large part of each appointment is spent returning to what happened previously, and the session may end just as the central difficulty begins to emerge. An intensive allows us to stay with the pattern for long enough to understand it and begin working differently with it.
Some couples choose an intensive after previous couples therapy has not gone deeply enough, while others have demanding careers, travel frequently, live in different places or cannot commit to the same weekly appointment. For these couples, an intensive provides a substantial period of therapy within a shorter amount of time.
You do not need to be in crisis or to have decided what you want the outcome to be. You may simply feel that something important in your relationship needs more time, concentration and honesty than you have been able to give it on your own.
What can we work on?
You can bring a wide range of relationship difficulties to an intensive. You may want help understanding a recent crisis, a longstanding pattern, a change in how you feel about each other or something in the relationship that neither of you has been able to make sense of. The intensive does not need to be limited to one particular type of problem.
Alongside my broader work with couples, I have particular experience in infidelity and betrayal, repetitive and high conflict patterns, neurodiverse relationships, difficulties with intimacy and differentiation, and working with couples who are uncertain whether to remain together.
My approach is existential and relational, which means that we will look beyond the immediate disagreement and consider the meanings, fears, expectations and past experiences that each of you brings to it. We will also pay attention to responsibility, including the part each of you plays in maintaining the pattern and what each of you would need to do differently for the relationship to change.
My work is neurodiversity informed. Where ADHD, autism or another form of neurodivergence is relevant, we will consider how differences in communication, emotional regulation, attention, sensory experience and executive functioning affect the relationship. Understanding these differences can reduce inaccurate assumptions about intention, while still allowing us to address the impact that each partner’s behaviour has on the other.
How it works
The first step is to contact me with a brief description of what you would like help with. We will arrange a short consultation to discuss availability, what is happening in the relationship and whether I am the right therapist for you. We will also consider whether an intensive is the most appropriate way of working and which format would give us enough time.
If you decide to go ahead, I will send you an assessment questionnaire to complete before we meet. This will ask about the history of your relationship, the current difficulty and what each of you hopes to understand or change. Your answers will help me prepare and identify the areas that may need particular attention.
At the beginning of the intensive, we will agree on the main focus of the work. Both of you will have time to explain your experience, but the aim is not simply to hear two separate accounts of the relationship. We will also look at what happens between you when you try to communicate, where conversations begin to break down and what each of you does in response.
I work actively and will ask questions, interrupt patterns that prevent either partner from being heard and challenge both of you where I think this may be helpful. Breaks are included throughout, and the pace and structure can be adjusted where necessary.
Towards the end, we will bring together what has emerged and consider what each of you needs to take responsibility for after the intensive. This may involve further conversations, practical changes, questions that still need to be considered or a decision about the future of the relationship.
An intensive can be a standalone piece of couples therapy, although we can also discuss whether further sessions would be helpful.
Is an intensive suitable for your relationship?
An intensive may be suitable if you both want to understand the relationship more fully and are willing to consider your own contribution to what happens between you. You do not need to agree about the cause of the problem or whether the relationship should continue, but both of you need to be willing to take part honestly.
It will not be appropriate if one partner is being pressured to attend, or where violence, coercive control or fear makes it unsafe to speak openly. Some couples may also need slower and more consistent work rather than an extended session. The initial consultation will help us decide whether this format is suitable for your relationship.
Formats and fees
Half day intensive
A half day intensive costs £720 and includes four hours of couples therapy across four and a half hours, with thirty minutes for breaks. It can take place in person at my Blackheath practice or online.
Full day intensive
A full day intensive costs £1,260 and is offered in person at my Blackheath practice. It lasts eight hours and includes seven hours of couples therapy, with an hour for breaks throughout the day.
Three day intensive
A three day intensive costs £3,780 and includes twenty one hours of couples therapy across three days. This format is offered in person and is subject to availability.
The fees are calculated at £180 per therapeutic hour. Payment and cancellation arrangements will be explained before the booking is confirmed.
