Infidelity as Trauma: Understanding the Psychological Impact
Infidelity is often experienced as a form of trauma, not only because of the betrayal itself but because of the way it disrupts the nervous system and the sense of safety that exists within an intimate relationship. When trust is broken in this way, the impact is not contained to thoughts or emotions alone, but extends into the body, attention, memory, and perception.
What is Considered an Affair? Understanding the Boundaries of Betrayal
When couples arrive for therapy following an affair, one of the most striking dynamics I see is the disagreement over whether an affair has actually occurred. One partner feels devastated by what they perceive as a fundamental betrayal, whilst the other insists that "nothing really happened" or that their actions "don't count" as infidelity.
After Infidelity: An Existential Approach to Couples Therapy
The discovery of infidelity can shatter the foundation of a relationship, leaving both partners struggling with questions about trust, meaning, and identity. As a therapist, I've witnessed how this crisis can either lead to relationship dissolution or, sometimes surprisingly, become a catalyst for deeper connection and renewed commitment between partners. From an existential perspective, infidelity extends beyond the act of betrayal—it confronts us with questions about our existence and relationships. When infidelity occurs, both partners are forced to confront several existential realities.
